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Posts Tagged ‘Jock O Rama’

Childhood Gaming Narratives

Jane McGonigal’s recent post about her trip to China to run an alternate reality game on the site of the Olympics also discussed her first Olympic gaming experience in 1988 with Summer Games on the Commodore 64.  McGonigal goes on to describe her experience gaming that summer:

During the real Olympic games that 1988 summer, I held my own Summer Games for myself on my Commodore 64. I would start up the computer game and enter 8 players. They were all made up versions of myself from different countries – you could play with 8 at a time — “Jane” from USA, “Juana” from Mexico, “Janelle” from France, “Jana” from the Netherlands (I don’t know why I thought that was a Dutch name), “Enaja” from Australia (Jane backwards, plus an extra “a” because it sounded prettier, ha ha thought my clever 10 year old self), etc. I would run every Summer Games event as all of my different Olympic Janes. The game was asynchronous multiplayer, rather than synchronous multiplayer, so I could try to do equal justice to each avatar. I would keep track of medals in my pastel pink Cool Shades notebook, and then after all the avatars ran every event, I would see which country had won the most. I was extremely methodical about this. And this would take pretty much an entire day. And THEN I would start over, and run the “simulated Jane Olympics” again, doing exactly the same thing with 8 more international Janes and see how THAT medal count went. And on and on and on.

I had a similar experience over on the Apple IIC with Summer Games and also Winter Games. I would create forms using Bank Street Writer with different countries and names. I created brief backgrounds for each character and had them compete against each other for glory. I did this for both Winter and Summer games and had the medal tallies combine to see which country would be champion. I think I brought this over to other games like RC Pro Am for further events.

As the years went on I did this in other games. Track & Field II was a more developed game that allowed me to use more events and countries. I remember a week long tournament I did in Nintendo World Cup where I came up with the idea that whatever team won would have their plan for world peace implemented.

The big gaming narrative moment for me however came a few years later when EA introduced their NHL series for the Sega Genesis. The first few years not only did not include real player names (which caused me to spend hours watching ESPN and hockey games to memorize them) but did not have the season modes gamers are familiar with these days. I spent the entire thirty game season making my own schedules (I forget the formula, but I think I just made sure the number of home games was even and then randomized who each team played) with all the team represented (I played a handful of games each day after school) and then a playoff tournament. I created my own schedules and kept detailed scoring notes and standings on the computer.

I also did this in other games like Baseball Stars (still the best Baseball game ever), Super NES Play Action Football (where I spent an entire fall doing a tournament of all the college teams, since the real NCAA didn’t seem keen on it even back then) and some others. Baseball Stars was especially fun because not only could you create your own teams but you could create players. There was a way to add female players to the teams. I always made the girl I had a crush on all through middle school the star of my team.

I created my own leagues and narratives in real life play as well as a child. More on that in a future post.


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  • “What’s a beautiful girl like you doing racing in a place like this?” “Winning.” http://tinyurl.com/63t4xm
  • Shit Fi Magazine (http://shit-fi.com/) put up an excellent mix on Muxtape: http://shitfi.muxtape.com/

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Madden NFL 08

Lately I have been playing Madden NFL 08 for my Playstation Two. After a great run with the excellent NCAA Football 08, Madden has been a great disappointment. A lot of things that are great about NCAA are missing or not well done in Madden. I love the atmosphere and crowds in NCAA. On the road it is difficult to play someone like Michigan due to the noise and rowdy crowd. That makes calling audibles much harder. Even a road game against a lowly team has an extra level of difficulty due to this. Madden has none of that. The crowd does nothing in Madden to effect the game.

 

Another thing I love about NCAA is using the triangle button to rotate the screen on punts and field goals. This makes blocking kicks more interesting and allows you a better view on punt returns. In Madden the chance of anything interesting happening on a field goal is minimal. Most of the time I don’t even bother rushing on extra points.

 

Finally, seriously, can we get an update to the announcing? John Madden has been saying the same stuff for the last ten years. Some of the newer players do not even have their picture in the game! How does someone like Braylon Edwards not have their picture included? Jay Culter and Devin Hester are called by their numbers, which means EA did not bother to record Al Michaels saying their names. Huh?

 

All in all, the game is playable, but I would rather start a new dynasty in NCAA. I am 5-0 in my franchise so far, even on a higher difficulty level, and have easily beaten every team. In NCAA even the lowliest of teams might surprise you. I regret buying this game and advise others to pass on it to stick with NCAA.

 


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The Last Night Of The Yankee Dynasty


Recently read: The Last Night Of The Yankee Dynasty by Buster Olney.


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The Bad Guys Won!


Read in 2005: The Bad Guys Won! by Jeff Pearlman.


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O

I don’t read O Magazine, but Twisty over at I Blame The Patriarchy reports on Oprah’s “special report” on men.

The June issue contains a “special report” on, what else, men. But this is Oprah’s magazine; no mere reportage here. No. In fact, Oprah’s vital and clairvoyant information will “change forever the way you think about men” (emphasis mine). That is, if you had previously thought of men as sentient beings, you no longer will. It turns out that men are “Neanderthals,” and if your life’s dream is to amass a repertoire of bogus tips and tricks that promise to make life with the “monosyllabic male of your choice” bearable, you’ve come to the right place.

*snip*

According to Oprah–well, not the celestial Oprah Herself, but the more earthly harem of avuncular shrinks and sassy sexperts and shopping editors through whom Oprah speaks–the white heterosexual woman must study, and study hard, to become a tool of the patriarchy. She must manipulate. She must buy the right bathing suit. She must say the right things at the right times. She must flush her non-relationship interests down the crapper and express a fascination for his non-relationship interests. Like the 4th Earl of Chesterfield once said, no doubt addressing his irate Pops after getting sent down from Cambridge, “the knowledge of the world is only to be acquired by reading men, and studying all the various editions of them.”

Right on. Could not agree more. What is mind-blowing is Oprah’s tips for women:

  • Don’t try to talk to him during football season.
  • If he tries to cook, get out of the kitchen until it’s time to clean up.
  • Don’t be argumentative.
  • Admire him for being tough.
  • Shut up.
  • Acquaint yourself with the career of Peyton Manning.
  • Meet every protest and argument he makes, no matter how ridiculously false, with the observation that he is absolutely correct…in boxing this is called rope-a-dope.
  • Rent a Steven Seagal movie.
  • Accept that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is one of his favorite things.
  • If you want him to fix the shower drip, whatever you do don’t nag; instead, remove the shower head, bring it to him and say “uh-oh, stupid me, I tried to fix it myself but now the drip is worse!” Then offer to bring him his power drill.
  • If you want to comfort your man, don’t try to soothe him with a home-baked pie; for the lovagod, tell him how powerful he is.

What kind of caveman bullshit is this? This is fucked up for a bunch of reasons:

  • Yeah shut the fuck up and accept it! No really, settle for some neanderthal who likes Steven Seagal and boring swimsuit magazines. Accept that he is “tough” and needs to be told he is  “powerful” to assure him that his penis is HUGE. No, really, because we know that is what it is all about for the patriarchy. The dominance over women is needed to make up for their very small penises.
  • This assumes that this is the only acceptable way for men to behave! I mean, I dig Peyton Manning too, but I do not like Steven Seagal or swimsuit magazines and I hate it when women “shut up” or just tell me that I am right to appease me. Who actually lives like that? I would seriously not be able to function in a relationship like that.
  • This also assumes that woman are these manipulative shrews who have to cater to their man’s every stupid whim and constantly “mother” them because they are really these big babies who need to have their manhood constantly reassured. Again, people really live like this?
  • Any relationship that is filled with manipulation, by males or females, is a shitty one to begin with. Maybe this is why I do not read these magazines, or really relate to most people. I do not go out of my way for relationships and certainly would not want to be in one where everything was a mind game to appease the other. Why do people stay in relationships like that? Why get in them to begin with? As someone in the comments on Twisty’s blog points out, if being in a relationship is that manipulative I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than ever deal with that kind of crap, even once.

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Kobe Bryant

Guilty or not guilty, the Kobe Bryant rape trial has left me very disturbed. The way this young women was treated, the way many people automatically attacked her credibility and Kobe’s for that matter, the whole aura of if you sleep with a few people you’re a slut and asked for it which comes out of cases like this where a women’s sexual history is brought up. How disgusting is that? While we will never know most likely what did go on that night there is one thing I do know-Kobe Bryant owes an apology to all American women.


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